Throughout my life I have always struggled with my identity. I often asked myself, "Who are you Vic?" "Where do you fit in this World?" From a young age I remember identifying as different .
While both of my parents are of Puerto Rican heritage, my mother's side of the family is dark skinned with kinky, curly hair and my father's side is fair skinned with fine and wavy hair. My sister and I both inherited the darker skin and kinky, curly hair. As a kid I remember being confused about what social groups I fit into. While I spoke, read and understood the English and Spanish languages it seemed like I was never fully accepted by my hispanic peers.
I felt more acceptance from the African American community which I also resembled more in appearance. Growing up I gravitated to hip hop and African American English as my forms of expression. At the same time I refused to leave my Puerto Rican culture behind. In an effort not to do so, I maintained close connections with the elder woman in my family. I copied their cultural behaviors, from listening to Spanish music, cooking and even feeding into the stereotypes associated with our culture.
While I am still doing work to assume my true identity, I am proud of the work I have done thus far. I have learned that I do not need to fit into any one mold or description of culture. I consider myself if not already, on my way to becoming a Global Citizen. Meaning, I am aware of and understand the wider world as well as my place in it. Based on the research and education I have done about the Puerto Rican heritage, I identify as an Afro-Latina. To me that identity is a true reflection of the many cultures that encompass the Puerto Rican race. For the purpose of identifying myself in "spaces", I identify as Afro-Latina. I try to do this early on in order to provide the people I am going to be in the space with a heads up that this woman right here is eclectic! Despite what they may think.
I have often found that in order for my identity to be affirmed in a space I have to do the affirming.
Most times when I show up on the scene people automatically perceive me to be African-American and will only try to communicate in English with me. It is very rare that I am viewed as a person of hispanic culture. When it does happen it is usually another Afro-latinx taking a stab at it. It is always such an empowering moment when people realize I can connect in both English and Spanish! It's almost like it's one of my Super Powers!
