Who Am I? - "¿Que lo que? or Wassup?"

 

    Throughout my life I have always struggled with my identity. I often asked myself, "Who are you Vic?" "Where do you fit in this World?" From a young age I remember identifying as different .

While both of my parents are of Puerto Rican heritage, my mother's side of the family is dark skinned with kinky, curly hair and my father's side is fair skinned with fine and wavy hair. My sister and I both inherited the darker skin and kinky, curly hair. As a kid I remember being confused about what social groups I fit into. While I spoke, read and understood the English and Spanish languages it seemed like I was never fully accepted by my hispanic peers.

    

     I felt more acceptance from the African American community which  I also resembled more in appearance. Growing up I gravitated to hip hop and African American English as my forms of expression. At the same time I refused to leave my Puerto Rican culture behind. In an effort not to do so, I maintained close connections with the elder woman in my family. I copied their cultural behaviors, from listening to Spanish music, cooking and even feeding into the stereotypes associated with our culture.

    While I am still doing work to assume my true identity, I am proud of the work I have done thus far. I have learned that I do not need to fit into any one mold or description of culture. I consider myself if not already, on my way to becoming a Global Citizen. Meaning, I am aware of and understand the wider world as well as my place in it. Based on the research and education I have done about the Puerto Rican heritage,  I identify as an Afro-Latina. To me that identity is a true reflection of the many cultures that encompass the Puerto Rican race. For the purpose of identifying myself in "spaces", I identify as Afro-Latina. I try to do this early on in order to provide the people I am going to be in the space with a heads up that this woman right here is eclectic! Despite what they may think.

 

 I have often found that in order for my identity to be affirmed in a space I have to do the affirming.

Most times when I show up on the scene people automatically perceive me to be African-American and will only try to communicate in English with me. It is very rare that I am viewed as a person of hispanic culture. When it does happen it is usually another Afro-latinx taking a stab at it. It is always such an empowering moment when people realize I can connect in both English and Spanish! It's almost like it's one of my Super Powers!

The Children are our Future. Teach them well and let them lead the way...

 

    I had so many "Yess!" (in my Keke Palmer voice) moments during this week's readings. I really resonated with so much whether it was based on my own experiences and upbringing or how I view myself and my role as a youth worker.

    There were two quotes in particular from Pegah's chapter that really popped out at me. The first was "If you make a scene, i'mma make a scene!" My immediate reaction was to laugh, as I thought the quote def sounded like something my Momma or any Momma from my community would say, as a stern reminder not to act up in public and embarrass us. The guidance I took away from it was your behavior influences my behavior. To me the most important take away was, we are in this together.

The next quote that stood out to me was "Nothing about Us, Without Us, Is for Us."

I found it to be so impactful that I had to read it again to make sure I understood it right. I connected this quote with the first three rungs on the Ladder of Youth Participation. The message I received was that the youth will not stand by and be manipulated, decorative, tokens of the image some adults try to portray in the name of empowering youth.

    I had another "Yesss!" moment while reading about Key Moments. 

 There were so many times as a youth that I can remember having "Ahhhaaa!" moments.That moment when the light just flickers on and you get it! Your understanding has been deepened. During some of those moments I remember having adult supports to help me propel my understanding to the next level, but more often than not, I did not. I appreciate the impact support can have. To customize and tailor your support for that individual, in that particular moment of their life can be pivotal in the way the youth processes future life issues and situations. It is like building a toolbox for life with the youth.

TLC in Youth Work

     My understanding of "care" in education and youth development is pretty much the same as it was before the readings. It varies.

    Through out my own educational journey as an Afro-Latina, I have come to learn that while some educators are in tuned with humanity, specifically the humanity of the demographic they are educating, some are not. It has also been my experience, that even those who do get it are in different stages of development themselves which may pose challenges for them and their educational style.

    An example from my childhood that I connect to "care" in education is an experience I periodically reflect on from my middle school days. Writing has always been an outlet for me. Somewhere early on I found that writing my feelings out on paper made them feel more real, more tangible. It was almost like I could prove they existed. I remember my middle school teacher really took interest in me and my writings, specifically my poems. She even went as far as putting extra time into preparing me for the Classical High School entrance exam. When I was accepted, she personally came to find me to share the news before it was announced to school over the loud speaker during end of the day announcements.

    This same teacher, did not take the same stock in helping the educational development of one of my peers. His name was Jansel Richards aka Dj Hanz. Jansel was a vibrant, lyrically gifted, Dominican boy. He often interrupted class by rapping lyrics of current artists or free-styling, which is a form of impromptu rap. He also had no fear challenging the teacher when he didn't agree with her teachings. He was so passionate about his craft that he even convinced our English teacher to allow him to sell his first mix tape in class for $3. That was an isolated situation because this teacher often kicked Jansel out of class. Sending him to the office, which often resulted in more severe punishments, such as suspension. 

    Fast forward in life, I landed long term and stable positions at a local healthcare organization. Which at the very least have afforded me the ability to maintain in life. Jansel went on to create more mix tapes and became a fixture on our local urban radio stations. Unfortunately, he also succumbed to the allure of the streets. Becoming involved in illegal activities. He died of asthma in jail. He was the victim of neglect within the Department of Corrections. 

    I often reflect on my life experiences and how they have affected where I am today. When this memory comes up, I wonder if my middle school English teacher took the same "care" she took with me, with Jansel; where would he be. Would he be here? Would he be a successful Dj and rapper? 

    Based on this experience along with many others I continue to strive for growth in the form of healing. It has become evident that when "cared" for intentionally people thrive. I just really want to pay that gem forward during my days on this Earth.

    

                            

Youth Work in Action!

When I asked myself, "Where do I see Social Justice Youth Development work happening?" 

My immediate thought given the state of the current social climate was, ummm,  EVERY WHERE! According to The Center for Strategic and International Studies (CSIS)...the average age of protesters is 18-34 years old. That is a lot of Youth and young voices. Some of those youth and young people are right here in our own state, in our own communities! 

In my opinion the PrYSM organization, which is located on Elmwood Ave. in Providence , which is also right in the heart of my hood, the Westend is a good example. The mission at PrYSM is to train, develop and support SouthEast Asian people, queer, trans and survivors of police violence to become leaders and change makers through direct action, community programs and movement building. One of the many examples would be the work they do through their Community Defense Project to empower youth to know their rights when interacting with law enforcement. What actions to take if their rights are violated and how to further spread the word and educate their communities on their rights. The project also ensures community members little to no cost legal representation in legal matters where they are the victims of the unjust legal system.

The more I learn about what our Youth are doing in our very own community, the more encouraged I become. I continue to be amazed at how resilience can manifest itself in the form of social justice. In the example of PrSYM, I think they do a really good job at genuinely serving the community.

The next question that comes to mind is, "how can their approach be expanded?"

Youth Work Ideologies

“Demetri, an alumnus of our program who is now a professional coach at this organization, engaged the YD students directly, facilitating the same sock tag game he had presented years ago in his own Introduction to Youth Development class.”	This quote spoke to me because it models Positive Youth Development in action. Demetri was able to utilize what he learned during his YD training to replicate it with another group of youth in a setting where he was the lead coach/youth worker.
“In using stories to convey a dimension of our complex program, we resist the discourse of quantified "outcome based" research on teaching and learning”	For me this quote speaks to one of the aspects that drew me to YDEV, which is how unique the program is. The acknowledgement of individual stories and how they mold the outcome of the learning experience, also explains that not all learning is conventional.
“As youth work leaders, they know who they are and what they believe.”	This line speaks empowerment to me. When I read it, I connected it to social justice youth development and the confidence one would need to possess when fighting alongside youth against inequitable systems.

The Other Side of America...

 

   My first memory of formally learning and studying REAL African American history was at the University of Rhode Island during the summer of 2004 when I attended TD. Talent Development is a program which was created in 1968, following the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The University of Rhode Island (URI) established Talent Development (TD) as a special admission program for Rhode Island's students of color and those from disadvantaged backgrounds. 

    The course was respectively titled African American Studies. It was taught by a young,soulful African American woman. I remember her being very fair complected and she wore vibrantly colored headscarves around her very long, dreads. She had a vibe to her that exuded confidence. I remember hoping that by the end of the semester I would inherit and embody the confidence she exuded.

    On the first day of the course, the professor warned the class that much of course content was going to be graphic in nature. She told us that we could feel free to excuse ourselves at anytime. I had never received such a warning and most definitely had never been told I could excuse myself if the course content was too much for me to handle. Now I was really intrigued. What was she possibly going to share with us that would warrant such a reaction?

    I soon found out. We began to discuss what really happened and still happens to African Americans in this country. The professor provided visuals. She showed us photos of public lynchings and floggings. Black humans covered in tar, beat and hung from trees while white people of all ages watched and cheered. I was horrified. My mother had told me stories and I had briefly seen footage but for some reason in the setting of that class, with the photos being projected on the projector and passed around for us to view up close really drove it home for me. I became angry.

    I really struggled with how could this be? How  could this America, My America, the Land of the Free and home of the brave do this to it's own people? Why? Could this actually happen to me or someone I loved? I remember becoming filled with rage at some points. I felt like a lot of my formal education was a lie. Columbus did not discover America, he stole it! We were not all created equal, and hard work was not going to be my only path to success. By the end of the course rather than feeling the confidence I had hoped for,  I felt hopeless. Like what the hell was I supposed to do with all of this information now? Not to mention now I do not know how much I trust non-Black educators and this was only my first year in college. Now what?

    It has been a long and bumpy road for me as an Afro-Latina in America since 2004, but one thing I have always held on to was a quote the professor shared from Maya Angelou, "Do the best you can until you know better. When you know better, do better." I connect this quote to Tatum's writing when she say's, "When we recognize that we have been misinformed, we have the responsibility to seek out more accurate information and adjust our behavior."  Til my dying day I will do just that and share my knowledge and wisdom with our Youth.

Marcus: On Being Good vs. (Dis)ability

 Visible and Invisible Rules

Marcus and his class mates are expected to navigate through many visible and invisible rules on a daily basis .The visible rules such as gathering together on the rug in the morning or being expected to raise their hands before speaking,provide guidance and structure. Where as the invisible rules such as being able to choose to stand or be quiet if you have nothing you want to share seem to develop organically and evolve based on the needs of the individual(s) involved.

How are they similar to other youth spaces

Marcus' class space does not differ much from other youth spaces.More often than not, youth spaces have by laws. These are rules that will govern the space while it is being used. Typically, the youth and leadership occupying the space will collectively come up with and decide which rules best fit their space and the people in it. 

 In Marcus' class the rules seem to have already been decided by the teacher without much collaboration from the youth. Youth Leaders should take special precaution when creating the vibe in the space they will share with youth.It should be inclusive of the wide range of abilities people possess, both typical and special.

Connections

I agree with Ferri in that most "rules" are biased and based on social norms that do not apply to everyone. People are individuals regardless of ability. By constructing social norms that only cater to a certain population creates social divides. It causes the population who is "meeting" the social norms to feel superior to those who do not / can not. Leaving those who are unable to, feeling inferior.

In my opinion what is most important is knowing the population you service and mold the culture of the space to their needs regardless of ability(.) Otherwise you are further marginalizing already marginalized populations.