My first memory of formally learning and studying REAL African American history was at the University of Rhode Island during the summer of 2004 when I attended TD. Talent Development is a program which was created in 1968, following the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The University of Rhode Island (URI) established Talent Development (TD) as a special admission program for Rhode Island's students of color and those from disadvantaged backgrounds.
The course was respectively titled African American Studies. It was taught by a young,soulful African American woman. I remember her being very fair complected and she wore vibrantly colored headscarves around her very long, dreads. She had a vibe to her that exuded confidence. I remember hoping that by the end of the semester I would inherit and embody the confidence she exuded.
On the first day of the course, the professor warned the class that much of course content was going to be graphic in nature. She told us that we could feel free to excuse ourselves at anytime. I had never received such a warning and most definitely had never been told I could excuse myself if the course content was too much for me to handle. Now I was really intrigued. What was she possibly going to share with us that would warrant such a reaction?
I soon found out. We began to discuss what really happened and still happens to African Americans in this country. The professor provided visuals. She showed us photos of public lynchings and floggings. Black humans covered in tar, beat and hung from trees while white people of all ages watched and cheered. I was horrified. My mother had told me stories and I had briefly seen footage but for some reason in the setting of that class, with the photos being projected on the projector and passed around for us to view up close really drove it home for me. I became angry.
I really struggled with how could this be? How could this America, My America, the Land of the Free and home of the brave do this to it's own people? Why? Could this actually happen to me or someone I loved? I remember becoming filled with rage at some points. I felt like a lot of my formal education was a lie. Columbus did not discover America, he stole it! We were not all created equal, and hard work was not going to be my only path to success. By the end of the course rather than feeling the confidence I had hoped for, I felt hopeless. Like what the hell was I supposed to do with all of this information now? Not to mention now I do not know how much I trust non-Black educators and this was only my first year in college. Now what?
It has been a long and bumpy road for me as an Afro-Latina in America since 2004, but one thing I have always held on to was a quote the professor shared from Maya Angelou, "Do the best you can until you know better. When you know better, do better." I connect this quote to Tatum's writing when she say's, "When we recognize that we have been misinformed, we have the responsibility to seek out more accurate information and adjust our behavior." Til my dying day I will do just that and share my knowledge and wisdom with our Youth.
Thank you for your post Victoria. I appreciate your story and your vulnerability in sharing this experience. It made me wonder about this process that so many of us go through to different degrees and in different ways of being taught the "official" history and ethos of the US--arc towards justice, meritocracy, lalala...and then the pain and deception of learning the truth. These horrific histories are painful no matter what, but do you think it would have felt different if you had always learned this history (in developmentally appropriate ways) alongside histories that hold up the struggles and achievements and greatness of Black, Indigenous and POC leaders in the US and around the world?
ReplyDeleteHi Victoria,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your blog #4 good job. Thanks for clearly narrating your experience regarding African American studies at URI and also sharing your feeling of hopelessness. I felt the same way you felt when I found out more in depth how African-American were treated it is so sad they had to go through many horrible moments.